How to Actually Enjoy Vacation With Kids (Yes, Even Little Ones)

getting on the same page with your partner/ prepping kids for travel/ a packing list that saves sanity/emotions as part of the trip not a crisis to avoid/ creating a home base/screens

Every year, we’d pack up the crew and head out on a family trip. Some years it was a short drive, some years a flight. There were times we nailed it. Others we… learned. My kids are teens now, and this summer they are off traveling with friends or away at camps. And since I am not traveling with kids this summer, I thought I’d share what I learned with you guys, who are most likely wondering:

Can traveling with kids actually be fun?

Yes. It won’t be perfect or tantrum-free, but if you play your cards right, it can be very enjoyable. Not because you have the perfect family, but because you’ve found what actually works for your imperfect family. When you stop forcing things that don’t work, it’s amazing how everything just kind of falls into place, and you stop wondering, “Are we having fun yet?”

And now, as a mom who’s done it with babies, toddlers, big kids, I want to share what helped us shift from “just get through it” to “that was actually so amazing.” Consider this post your realistic travel survival guide for moms who want a vacation that includes them, too.

Plan Smarter So You Can Actually Relax

Before you even start packing, sit down with your partner and get on the same page about this trip. Not just the logistics, but the vibe.

With kids in the mix, time and energy are limited. So instead of cramming in every possible activity, prioritize what actually matters. A quick conversation ahead of time can mean fewer tense whispers in the hotel hallway later.

Here are 3 questions we always ask before we go:

1. What’s one essential thing you want to experience on this trip?
It could be as big as “see a sunset at the Grand Canyon” or as small as “drink my coffee hot one morning.” This gives both of you a way to support each other’s tiny dreams.

2. On a scale of 1–10, how important is relaxation vs. structured activity?
Some people love a full itinerary. Others want to do nothing in a chair by the pool. Align on pace now so no one’s resentfully Googling “things to do in Asheville” at 10 p.m. on day two.

3. What’s one past travel memory that really lit you up?
Remembering what’s actually felt good in the past helps you build more of that into this trip—and skip the stuff that felt forced or frantic.

This is the kind of pre-trip check-in that can shift your whole experience.

Prepping for Travel Starts Way Before You Pack

A suitcase isn’t the only thing that needs packing before a trip; your kid’s sense of safety and predictability does, too. Kids need context.

Here’s how we build that before we ever leave home:

• Show them where you’re going. Pull up photos of your destination and invite them to imagine what they might see or do first. “Do you think there will be a pool? What color do you think the towels will be?”

• Hotel or Airbnb? Give them a tour. Use the website photos to point out where they might sleep, where breakfast might happen, or what the view will look like from the window.

• Preview the food. Look up restaurant menus together and let them pick something they might like. Even just circling mac & cheese on a screen can help ease food anxiety.

• Make a countdown calendar. A visual, picture-based calendar helps them understand exactly when you’re leaving and when you’ll be home. Bonus: it builds excitement and reduces those anxious “how many more sleeps?” questions.
  It doesn’t have to be elaborate. A little preview now goes a long way in helping your child feel ready, regulated, and excited.

• Flying? Prep with books. Read simple, reassuring stories about airports and airplanes. Talk about the process: bags go here, we walk through there, we buckle up and listen for the “ding.”

Going on an Airplane / A Day at an Airport / How a plane works / Time for a Trip /

On the Train / I Spy Beach / The Ultimate Book of Airplanes and Airports / At the Beach

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The Carry-On Packing List That Saves Your Sanity

Forget the IG-perfect travel kits. This is what actually earns space in our carry-on and keeps everyone a little more regulated (and a lot less meltdown-y) from door to destination.

I organize our travel bag around five categories: comfort, entertainment, snacks, essentials, and sensory/anxiety tools.

Here’s what that looks like in real life:

Comfort Item: Bring something familiar like a lovey, a doll, or that weird stuffed cat they call “Poopoo.” It’s their emotional anchor, especially for naptime on the go or during transitions.

Snacks… Because Kids Pack more than you think they need. Then double it. Mix something familiar (pretzels, Goldfish) with a small treat to keep it special. Pro tip: chewy snacks (like fruit leather) or lollipops can be great for ear pressure during takeoff and landing.

Sensory + Anxiety Support Tools

• Noise-canceling headphones (especially helpful for sensory-sensitive kids or loud terminals)

• A weighted lap pad or a small cozy blanket

• A simple visual schedule of the travel day: “Wake up → Airport → Airplane → Hotel → Dinner”

Essential Carry-On Items

• A full change of clothes for your child, and one for you. (Ask me about the Gatorade that exploded in 2019.)

• A book with short, self-contained stories. Perfect for the start-and-stop rhythm of travel when you need to pause for announcements, security, or snack breaks.

  
  Entertainment Surprises: Toss in one or two new-to-them toys or activities. Keep it small, quiet, and open-ended, and make them double as play items for the hotel

  

  Frog and Toad All Year Book / Muslin Blanket / Foldable Travel Tray /

  Colored Pencil Tube / Mini Lollipops / Soap and Water Hand Wipes/ Sticker Set / Airplane Bed /Memory Snack Tray / Puke Bags / Mini Squigz / Clay /

  Notebook / Magnetic Tiles / Small Animals / Plus Plus / Taco Goat Cheese Pizza /Small Vehicles / Magnetic People / Mini Yoto Player /

  Washi Tape / Mini Books / Little People / 1oz playdough sticks / Travel Rummikub

Pro Tip: Help Your Child Pack (and Practice!) Their Carry-On

A week before your trip, say something like:
"You’re growing up, and I think you’re big enough to carry your own backpack. What would you like to put inside?"

Let them pack a few items and then go for a “test walk” with the bag around the block or to the store. They’ll feel proud and you’ll get a break from carrying all the things. When the big day comes, they’ll already be familiar with the feel of it. A tiny bit of autonomy is a major win for everyone.

Emotions Are Part of the Journey, Not a Crisis to Avoid

If big feelings are part of your everyday life (hi, welcome to parenthood), you better believe they’re coming with you on vacation. That doesn’t mean your trip is doomed; it just means you need a plan that includes emotional messiness, not one that tries to prevent it completely.

Also, if someone gives you side-eye during a travel meltdown, they are not your people.

Before You Go: Set the Stage (Without Overachieving)
You don’t need to create a PowerPoint, but prepping kids for what’s coming can be a game-changer for everyone.

• Make a simple social story about your trip with drawings or printed photos:
  “First we pack the suitcases. Then we take an Uber to the airport. We’ll bring your car seat. We’ll go through a special machine that sees inside our bags!”

• Walk through emotional moments before they happen:
  “If you feel tired, you can climb in your stroller and hide under your blanket.”
  “If you feel hungry, what can you do? That’s right — ask Mommy for a snack.”

This kind of prep doesn’t eliminate big feelings, but it helps make them manageable for both of you.

During Travel: It is your job to stay Grounded, Even If They’re Not

• Validate the feeling. Set limits on the behavior.
  “It’s hard to wait in this long line. I won’t let you push your brother, but I will play a game with you. How many blue things can you find?”

• Offer small choices to give a sense of control.
  “Do you want to listen to music or look at your book right now?”

And When the Meltdown Happens (Because It Will):

• Find a quieter space like a low-traffic hallway or even just a tucked-away corner.

• Take a breath. Remind yourself that this feels way worse to you than it does to everyone else.

Most travelers get it. And the ones who don’t? That’s their problem. Don’t make it yours.

Yes, We Packed Screens. No, I Don’t Feel Bad About It.

I prep the tech like we prep the snacks:

• Download favorite shows ahead of time (no relying on spotty hotel or plane Wi-Fi)

• Pre-load a few calm, creative apps

• Queue up audio stories and kid-friendly podcasts

5 Kid-Friendly Podcasts to Download:

• Circle Round

• But Why: A Podcast for Curious Kids

• Story Pirates

• Wow in the World

Little Stories for Tiny People

Our Favorite App for Screen Time That Doesn’t Melt Brains: Pok Pok

If you haven’t tried Pok Pok yet, it’s the only app I recommend for travel days, and honestly, regular days too. Why I love it:

• There’s no winning or losing (so no tears when it ends)

• It’s open-ended and grows with your child so there’s no “done in five minutes” syndrome

• No ads, no data collection, no in-app junk

• It’s actually soothing, with sounds and sensory feedback that regulate instead of hype up

You can try it free for 7 days using my code, plus get 25% off the annual subscription:
Redeem your trial and discount here

Bottom line: Screens don’t ruin a trip. Overwhelm and chaos do. Thoughtful screen time can help your child stay calm and give you a much-needed moment to just breathe.

When You Arrive: Create a Home Base (Before Anyone Melts Down)

Before you start unpacking six bags or rushing to the first activity, do this one thing: set up a home base for your child. It’s the five-minute move that will make the rest of your trip feel way smoother.

Here’s how to do it:

• Grab a basket (there’s almost always one in the bathroom holding towels and empty it out).

• Lay a big towel down in the corner of the room.

• Set the basket on top and fill it with a few of your child’s favorite toys.

• Add a hotel notepad and pencil, a couple of easy-access snacks, and a water bottle.

Let them know: “This is your space to play, rest, draw, or snack.”

This quick setup:

• Gives kids a sense of ownership in a totally new space

• Encourages independent play during downtime (without scattering toys everywhere or needing you to rummage through bags)

• Helps everyone settle in faster, with fewer tears and less clingy chaos

Schedule Downtime from Day One

This might be the most underrated travel tip I’ve ever learned: build in rest on purpose, not as a backup plan. Here’s what that looked like for us:

• 1–2 hours of quiet time each day, even if it’s just books and calm play in a hotel room or on a lounger in the shade.

• We protected nap schedules whenever possible.

• We alternated big activity days with low-key ones. If we hit a museum or hike one day, the next is for beach play or a long lunch and early bedtime.

• Time for unstructured play every single day. Kids don’t process new experiences through conversation; they do it through play.

Parents Deserve a Break, Too

The best trips work for everyone, including you.

Rethink the Schedule: Skip the fancy dinners and let the kids eat in swimsuits by the pool. After early baths and bedtime, you and your partner get that uninterrupted evening to exhale. Order room service and eat on the balcony (or in the closet lol!) when the kids are asleep.

Take Turns and Tag Team: Build in solo time. Let one parent sleep in while the other does breakfast. Schedule a midday walk, a solo drink, or just 30 minutes alone to scroll or nap without guilt.

Adjust Expectations (and Lower the Bar): Focus on fun, not just activities. One thing per day is plenty. A picnic near a playground might be more fun than a sit-down meal at a museum café.

Create Win-Wins: Pick places with built-in kid fun (pools, game rooms, or coffee shops near playgrounds).

The truth is that your kids won’t remember the itinerary. They’ll remember how it felt to be with you. And when you’re rested, present, and actually enjoying yourself, you’ll be creating memories you all want to keep.

That’s it—my complete guide to traveling(and actually enjoying) traveling with kids. Take what works for you, leave the rest behind. And if this helped even a little, send it to another mom who deserves a vacation that doesn’t end in a meltdown.

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x. Lizzie