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"Why can't I have a phone? Ella has one, and Nat has one too..."
I've had this conversation ad nauseam with my tween for the past two years. While I want to roll my eyes and jump in right away with "Phones are the demise of childhood. That's why" or "You aren't old enough yet" or better yet, "They only have one because…" I try not to approach the conversation that way. I know that saying things like that will only leave her thinking that I don't understand her desire, and so she will just keep begging.
Would we roll our eyes if our child asked for a bite of our cookie? Would we dismiss their desire as trivial? Probably not. We understand that wanting is natural.
So when they ask for their own phone, why do we roll our eyes, yell, or become irritated with them? While a phone is not the same as a cookie, the idea of wanting one is the same.
It is a delicate balance to hold limits while not making our children feel bad for their completely normal desire to want something they see all around them.
So, when my daughter starts in on “when am I getting a phone?”, I try to show her that it's okay to ask for what she wants, even when the answer is going to be no.
Here's how... (this is going to take patience):
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