The best parenting advice I ever received didn’t come from a parenting book or an Instagram expert. It came from my therapist, during one my hardest seasons of parenting.
Inside This Post:
Why absorbing your kid’s emotions makes it harder for both of you
What I learned during my darkest season of motherhood
The difference between helping your child feel their feelings and taking them on yourself
Specific examples of what being a mirror is and what it’s not
Why “being a mirror” won’t fix things in the moment, but how it can help you stay steady so you can handle it later
It was 2023, and we had recently moved from NJ to MA with a 15-year-old, a 12-year-old, and a 9-year-old. We’d packed up thirteen years of living in New Jersey, close to my family, and moved into my husband’s childhood home near the beach in Massachusetts, where we had no family and very few friends to speak of.
Things started out kind of okayish. The kids were used to MA, as they’d spent all of their childhood summers in this very house, attending day camp on a little island nearby and spending nearly all their time barefoot, tanned, and together.
And then, in what seemed like one fell swoop, my oldest broke his arm, my middle started seeing the red flags that would lead to being bullied at school, and my youngest was diagnosed with ADHD and Dyslexia. In truth, these things didn’t all happen at once, but in my mind and heart, it sure felt like it…
The real shit hit the fan that October.
